Prepare the Way

“He said, “I am the voice of one crying out in the wilderness, ‘Make straight the way of the Lord,’ as the prophet Isaiah said.”

‭‭John‬ ‭1:23‬ ‭

He was 4 days old, at this point less than his one pound eight ounce birth weight. The tension was high, and the weight of resistance pulled our feet to the floor. Even in the well-lit room, you could actually feel the darkness. The pain was gripped tightly in our fists, the chatter quieted down and then the words flowed right into the air. The doctors began to point at scans and images on the computer of his brain and let us know that at this point, all that could be done was done. The chances he would walk, talk, move, or do really anything at all did not exist. They wrapped up this meeting with the best case scenario being to turn off the life support.

I knew that only God had the power to determine the outcome of these circumstances, and our answer would always be in the fullness of Christ. In Him, we don't have to tightrope on chance. He is the way— the only way. Whatever happened next for our son, was in God's hands and not ours.

The only one who had a say in the quality and the life that was set before my son was God himself, and all I wanted was for my son to know the love of God, to love God, and to follow Him. There was no one who could tell me that would not be able to happen. This was the only best case I allowed to seep within, knowing that it could very well end much sooner than I prayed for.

It was then that I realized I was going to have to shift my focus off of “how-to” and exchange it for “who-to”. Who to look to, who to follow in it, who to depend on, who to cling to. There is only one answer to that— God.

Our God is in all terrain— always with us.

In the midst of diagnosis.

In the midst of illness.

In the midst of teaching either with or without disabilities.

In the midst of sending off our children out into the world.

In the midst of unknowns.

In the midst of having to change the intended path.

One thing is certain, we don't have to wait for God to show up. He is already with you, He has been here the whole time. His presence never has to be questioned. There is no limit to the truth of who God is, Immanuel— God with us.

I share all of this because when I go back to that NICU moment with the doctors I remember never wanting to forget the words He pressed on my heart — the ONLY case, no matter the terrain or circumstances that lie ahead, in the middle of all of the disabilities, my son would know God, His love, and he would hunger to follow after Him. I have held that so close to my heart and when the Lord called me to homeschool our children, I knew that it was going to look different. Really it will look different for all of us, and that's a really special thing. That different is something I embrace with open arms because it is what he needs. Yes, homeschooling a child with special needs means many different accommodations and adaptations would have to be created, curriculum switched when it was not serving us well, but more than that, the one thing I have always come back to is that I want to teach, pour out, and live from Christ.

Looking back over the last few years and seeing all that God was actually teaching me along the way has transformed my perspective of it all— little did I know when I first set out to go at whatever pace my son needed, to guide him in the ways that met him where he was at— well God has been doing the same in me. Each day He shows me that the only plan, path, and pace, that I need is His. The beautiful truth friends is that we really can give it all to Him, He has already gone before us and will never leave our side. His ways are always better, for us, and for our children.

Even still I live in this space of really not knowing how the disabilities he lives with will impact his life and education, but we do know WHO to look to in it all and it is something I talk with my son about every day. From the very beginning of our special needs parenting journey I always said that if he only walked away with one thing each day, I want it to be that he learned about who God is, knew the love of God, and left wanting more of God.

Friend, the world is loud. It tries hard to pull us in a million different directions. Right now it is so easy for us as we are all preparing for our upcoming school year, whether that be homeschooling or schooling outside of the home, to see and want to do all the things. I so enjoy learning as well as sharing about all the different tools and resources that are out there to serve, teach, and train up our children. You are not alone in that at all—you will see me sharing what we are using and how we incorporate different things into our days. Honestly, one day you might even see tools that God has put in my heart to create to serve your families. What I don't want you to miss though is that everything you need at the end of the day is found in Him. He is mighty and alive in you, He is your helper, the One who will show you the way. Prepare the way.